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Thursday, May 12, 2005
Poker holding on to a winning hand
Poker is, according to its adherents, the biggest growth area in sport this side of Jose Mourinho's ego. The blossoming of the game on the internet is such that poker millionaires are old hat: the most popular websites, who started the party only three years ago, billionaires. And television has now caught the wave.
There is not so much a rash of poker on the satellite schedules at the moment as a raging contagion. Just this week we were treated to the European Championship final on Eurosport, the conclusion of the British Open on the newly established Poker Channel, plus, on Sky, the Poker Million, in which - though you've probably guessed this from the title - the prize on offer is $1 million.
This being British television, first on to the Sky table in pursuit of the big one were a bunch of celebrities.
"This is a better line-up than Celebrity Big Brother, you're in danger of actually knowing who some of these people are," said Roy 'The Boy' Bradley in the commentary box as the celebs were unveiled. He wasn't wrong. Though since we've all seen John Regis panicking in a canoe on Superstars, Bradley might have chosen a better metaphor to introduce the former Olympian than "he's taken to this game like a duck to water".
As the inverted commas around that 'Boy' of Bradley's name suggests, it appears to be a contractual requirement to come to a poker table equipped with a nickname. Phil Taylor, the world darts champion, thus had a head start, arriving with
'The Power' tucked under his arm. Matthew Stevens, the snooker player, though, may have been less than enamoured to be gifted 'Shady', while Helen Chamberlain of Sky's Soccer AM must have wondered what she had done to deserve 'Hell's Bells'.
Worse was to come, however, when Bradley described her style of play as "more relentless than the Duracell bunny". It didn't seem to do her any harm, as in the final play-off she beat Barry 'No Nickname Necessary' Hearn. It was brave on her part to ignore the adage about always ensuring that the boss triumphs at the office golf day; Hearn is also the promoter of the competition.
Even if he could have squeezed past Chamberlain, the snooker impresario and Leyton Orient chairman seemed particularly chuffed to have disposed of a table full of sportsmen.
He thus precisely fitted the thesis proposed by journalist Matthew Norman, commentating on the British Open final for the Poker Channel, as to why so many people are picking up the cards and seeing if their pair of twos can out-run their opponent's royal flush. "When you get to 40 you realise you'll never play for Spurs," Norman said, "nor will you score a century for England. But you could find yourself playing poker on the same table as the world champion."
Which is what happened to former Daily Telegraph journalist Matt Born, who qualified for the Open via the internet and fought through the early rounds to find himself under the deathless gaze of the world title holder, Greg 'The Fossilman' Raymer. Born was hooked up to a heart monitor to see how he was coping. While Raymer's rate barely registered a flicker as the two went head to head, Born's raged so high he looked destined for a coronary. "That's why this is a sport," claimed the Poker Channel's resident expert, Carlo Citrone. "You've got to have the endurance ability of a marathon runner." It was lucky Born was wearing shades: if we could have seen his eyes at that point they might well have been popping out of his head.
According to Norman, the reason so many of the players wear dark glasses is "a gangster fantasy". He reckoned every one of them, as they stick, turn, raise or fold, are under the impression they are living through the poker scene from Reservoir Dogs.
A neat theory which was somewhat undermined by the interview with the winner of the Open, Adam Dujmovic. Asked how he might spend his £100,000 first prize, Dujmovic replied: "The first thing I'm going to do is take my little girl to Disneyland."
Meanwhile, Kevin Seeger, the man who came third in Eurosport's European Championship final and who describes himself as a "full-time, stay-at-home dad", explained that he would spend his winnings on "getting the garden landscaped". Its fans are right. It is some progress poker has made: from the louche to the suburban in one easy step.
posted by party poker at 9:29 AM  
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